Hiring: Do you want the job, or not?

We’re hiring at IRG (hiring!). As I have stumbled into the role of Director of Human Resources (please, stop giggling), all resumes go through me on their way to anyone else.

Its an odd sense of power. One that I thoroughly enjoy.

Posting an ad on Craigslist is the fastest way to be absolutely inundated with resumes. And in this day and age, its the fastest way to slow your company server, as what seems like billions of resumes come in not 45 seconds after I hit “post”.

How does one deal with the sorting, you ask?

Its simple. Add a little blurb to the bottom of the ad saying: “Please put your resume in the body of an email. No attachments will be opened.”

Guaranteed, a staggering 45% (at least) of the interested parties will send you nothing but a resume – as an attachment.

Guaranteed, you will have weeded out 45% of people who can’t follow directions.

If you’re interested in whittling it down even more, add to the blurb: “Please include cover letter.”

Guaranteed, of the 55% who put their resume into the body of an email, at least 20% will not include a cover letter, or even a “Hi, I’d like to be considered for this position.”

These people are either incapable of following instructions all the way through, or they’re lazy. Either way, they’re not getting a job, a call, or even a glance. Putting “laziness” under their list of qualifications would give them a better chance…because that, at least, would make me laugh.

Though this makes my life SO MUCH EASIER – it is a horrifying reality. Could it really be that at least 65% of all applicants are discarded simply for lack of following directions?

That’s like failing a test that you would have aced by being too lazy to put your name on it.

I’m trying not to let it get to me, but this also seems like a personal attack. Did they think I was kidding? Do they think they’re above my rules? Do they think they’re too qualified to even say Hi to me? Are they being blaze' because they think I’m not reading them? Well, I AM! I am reading them! And anyone worth even half their weight in cover letters is getting at least one foot in the door. Its just that simple.

Perhaps people think that their Craigslist job applications are falling into the black hole of Craigslist, never to be seen or heard from again. Perhaps they’re disgruntled and frustrated. Perhaps they’re defeated. Perhaps they think I won't notice.

And believe me, I’ve been there - I get it. Searching for a job is the hardest job I've ever had. What I don’t get is why people are not even trying - or worse, not reading the job post all the way to the end. And yeah - in that case, I’m happy to sit here like a black hole – with my trigger finger on delete.