A Dark Day in Ridgefield History

On September 22nd, 2001, I attended the funeral of the only person I knew personally who perished in the attacks on 9/11. His name was Tyler Ugolyn, and he was my boyfriend for about 5 minutes the summer before I went off to 8th grade, and he entered High School.

Obviously, he was much more than my boyfriend for five minutes in 1993, but the fact that he was, always makes me smile. He was the kind of guy that seriously EVERYBODY liked - as it was impossible not to. Its annoying that those types of people are always taken too soon. Whereas the people who take them are still alive and well.

Anyway, I was a Senior at the University of Delaware during the attacks, and I was close enough to my hometown of Ridgefield, CT, to attend Ty's funeral. Three of my closest friends were not.

When I got back to my parent's house, I remember being in a trance. Exhausted from the emotionality of the weeks prior, I was almost too tired to sleep. I remember sitting in my Dad's leather desk chair with his giant PC and a Diet Coke until the wee hours of the morning, drafting an email to my friends who weren't able to make it home.

I thought about Ty all day today, and when I came home, I searched for that email, and found it. I've decided to post it. Not only because I would like to honor his memory, but because its relatable.

That's the thing about September 11th...everyone can relate.

Subject: A Dark Day in Ridgefield History

At 9:15 this morning, I stood on the bricked entrance to St.
Mary's peering over the coffee that I had hoped was hiding
my tired face.

Despite my father's running commentary about "God damned
Towel Heads", I couldn't take my eyes off the flood of
darkly-dressed, zombie-faced people making their way up
the sidewalk. It was like a Twilight Zone high school
reunion, and all I wanted to do was to wake up.

At 9:20, we rushed in to claim three of the last pew
seats in the house...the service was scheduled to start
at 10. For the next forty minutes, I watched. I watched
faces walk by that I haven't seen in years. Faces that
I never thought I would see again. It was weird,
though...the faces were different...older. But they
weren't the happy faces I so fondly remember seeing
in the halls of RHS...this time they were pained, some
angry, some on the verge of tears. As I scanned the
room, there were few people that I actually made eye
contact with. There was the Davis family...Amanda kept
looking back and eventually smiled. Sara Jacka-whatever
was across the isle...there was a moment of contemplation,
and then no recognition. Mike Coffee was sitting to my
left, Mike Principe was standing to my left, and if I
turned my head to about 4 o'clock on my right, I could
see Liz Townsend. Mrs.Fennel with her unmistakable hair
sat directly in front of me. Later I shook her hand when
we were asked to greet those around us. No one spoke.
Except, of course, for my dad, who broke the silence by
making fun of the choir who was practicing in the balcony
above us. He made me laugh...I felt like the Devil.

At 9:59 it was way past standing room only. It was shoulder
to shoulder and looking around, I imagined there were dozens
who weren't even lucky enough to enter the church. Later
I learned that they were huddled near the outside speakers,
all on the balls of their feet, attempting at a glimpse
inside.

Music started, we rose, and the remaining Ugolyn family
passed on my right practically holding each other up as
they made their way to the front. My dad started convulsing
as he always does when he doesn't want anyone to know he's
lost it. From there, it was a series of hymns, gospel
readings, and prayers. I was numb to the Bible talk. Preachy,
preachy...then, Ron O'Brien stood behind the podium, and
made me cry. When Kirk Castles poured himself into the mic,
I was on tissue number two, and then Scott Weiss got me
thinking about what friendship really is. When Ty's roommate
described their first encounter, and his girlfriend described
their last, I saw myself, and I saw you guys, and I cried
through tissue number four. We sang "God Bless America" as
the family exited the church...I reached for number five.

Like a black-clad snake, what seemed like thousands of
people slithered to the reception doors. Some waited over
an hour to get inside. Soon after my father commented on
"some kid with earrings", we left, as we were about 300th
in line to pay our respects.

It's 2:15am. I just got back from Bully's. It was packed.
Some were there to drown their grief, others were there
to support, but it seemed like all of us were there to
laugh...for maybe the first time in 11 days. Tonight it
wasn't Bully's. It was the halls of RHS. It was full
of those smiling faces that I so fondly remember. It was Ty.
It was just what we needed.

For more about Ty, click below. He was featured in Sports Illustrated on September 24, 2001, and his story was continued today...

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1023760/index.htm?eref=sisf

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/jeff_pearlman/09/11/ugolyn/?eref=shareFB


*Photo (and all of the other mind-blowingly great photos posted on this blog) by: Christopher Loren Ewers